Silent Burning
by chibi-angel3
Summary: Learn the language of kissing in this thought provoking fic of what it takes to truly love. A Kenshin and Kaoru fic written to address unresolved issues after the Kyoto Arc. Waff alert! READ AND REVIEW!!! **ONE-SHOT!!!**


**Standard Disclaimers Apply.**

**Silent Burning**

**_Written by: Chibi-angel___**

Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.

It was just one of those hazy nights and yet, you know that you would never forget that vivid memory for the rest of your life.

~~~~~

Meiji 11. Kamiya Dojo. Post Shishio Homecoming party.

It was Sanosuke's idea, actually. Kaoru and Kenshin just exchanged knowing looks when Sano brought it up. They weren't really sure if it was the gathering that Sano wanted or just the free sake. In any case, they went up for it. It was good to celebrate with Genzai-sensei and the Ayame-chan and Suzume-chan.

~~~~~~

Everyone was asleep in the main hall by the time Kaoru decided to wake up. She looked around the room to check everyone's calm breathing and when she was certain that everyone had dozed off, she crawled towards Kenshin.

Kaoru stared at his face for a moment, sighing contentedly upon watching his sleeping face. Putting her plan in action, Kaoru lied down on top of him, caressed his cheek softly and whispered, "Kenshin?"

"Kaoru…" Kenshin breathed in, opening his eyes slowly.

Upon seeing his amethyst eyes look back at her, Kaoru smiled. She rested her forehead on Kenshin's, rubbing her nose on his.

He smiled back.

Kaoru slowly fluttered her eyes, kissed his nose and then placed her lips on his ears before she whispered, "Will you kiss me?"

She remained in her position on top of him, closing her eyes as she waited his rejection. Kenshin always did that. He was so distant from her. Even if she tried to reach out for him, his barriers locked her out. She knew her effort was futile but just this once, she wanted to be bold. She wanted to do anything just to show him she loved him. 

After being so scared shitless that he would leave her, Kaoru just wanted his being to engulf her and fill her.

For that single moment, she just wanted him to make her feel that he wanted her the same way she did even if she would have to use alcohol as an excuse for her boldness and as a sedative for his barrier.

She didn't know if it would work but, she could always blame it on the alcohol when he does the expected. This really wasn't Kaoru. Hiding behind the mask of altered consciousness was not her but she was desperate.

And too bruised when he left her to be broken again.

At least, if Kenshin rejected her, no one would know of her pain and pity her for it because they didn't know that she knew.

Pity was the last thing she wanted from Kenshin.

As Kenshin laid under her completely still, Kaoru bit her lip as reality slowly sank in. She knew she expected the worst, but still, deep inside her, she knew she had hope. 

This small spark of hope was what motivated her to pursue this plan in the first place. Beneath the callousness of pessimism surrounding the outer layers of her heart was a hopeless romantic.

Bruised but still waiting.

But now, she would have to go through her whole plan. 

Pretend that she was too drunk to know what she was doing or pretend that she didn't remember anything at all.

At that moment, the latter sounded more appealing as the thought of Kenshin talking to her about it brings bolts of pain to her being.

Just then, as Kaoru was about to get up and crawl to her room to feign drunkenness, Kenshin wrapped his arms around her. 

He placed one hand behind her head and the other one at the small of her back. He looked at Kaoru's shocked expression as he turned their positions over. He smiled at her.

Slowly, he got up from his position and scooped Kaoru into his arms to carry her.

Kaoru did not break his gaze as she looked at him inquisitively.

Kenshin placed her down in the corner of the room as he sat in front of her, his back resting on the wall. He caressed her face tenderly, tucking the stray her at the back of her ear.

"Ken—"

"Shhh…" Kenshin pointed at the other people occupying the room. He placed her on top of his lap as he let his hands roam her body. 

Her firm arms. Her trained back. Her small waist. All the makings of a powerful shihondai but still undeniably a woman.

His lips hovered her ears, breathing out softly causing shivers to run up and down her spine. He then trailed it down her neck to her nose then to her lips.

With only mere centimeters separating them, they stared at each other with eyes full of confusion and desire.

Without breaking eye contact, Kenshin motioned Kaoru to wrap her legs around his waist. As her yukata's slit opened up to the top of her legs, Kenshin stroked her thighs up from her knees, to where her shorts end, to her inner thighs, then back to her knees. 

Kaoru's breathing became labored as her eyes instinctively closed.

She didn't know what was happening to them but she didn't want to think about it. She didn't want to spoil their moment by contemplating about it as it was happening.

Kaoru shifted closer, wrapping her legs tighter on his waist as she pulled him for an embrace. She rested her lips on his shoulder, feeling her head spinning. Every touch of his delighted her, giving her pleasure she never knew of before.

Meanwhile, Kenshin's hand went up to her back, pushing her towards him, wanting to feel all her curves against his chest.

As they felt both their racing heartbeats through the thin fabric of her yukata and his worn gi, he sighed.

They remained in that intimate position for such a long time that one would think they already fell asleep. But they weren't. They were enjoying it too much to sleep.

They wanted to savor every passing second that they were together because the next day…

…well, they both didn't know what would happen the next morning. All they knew was that they had that moment and they would cling on it with their whole being for that moment was the only certain thing at present.

Just then, Kenshin pulled back and studied Kaoru's face. He started with her forehead, to her eyes, to her cheekbones, to her nose and then to her lips.

In an agonizingly slow manner, he tilted her chin as his lips approached hers.

Despite their position and their obvious need for release, they kissed slowly.

It was the most passionate kiss.

Slow. Careful. Cherished. 

It was like every single act mattered so much that it shouldn't be rushed. 

Every touch. 

Every stroke of lip. 

Every meeting of tongues. 

Every breath. 

Every moan. 

All those were etched in their battered hearts, slowly healing them both.

At last they pulled back, face flushed, breathing ragged. A glow surrounded their little world as Kenshin pulled her to an embrace.

A couple of minutes later, Kenshin stood up and carried Kaoru back to her room.

Dreaming had never felt so good.

~~~~~

_This is my moment  
This is my perfect moment with you_

_Tell me you love me  
When you leave  
You're more than a shadow  
That's what I believe_

_You take me places  
I never thought I'd see  
Minute by minute  
You're the world to me_

_I wish I could frame  
The look in your eyes  
The way that I feel  
For you inside_

_This is my moment  
This is my perfect moment with you_

_What if tomorrow brings  
A lonely day  
Here and now I know  
How to live in vain_

_And my tears in the rain  
And if love never comes again  
I can always say I've been  
To paradise in your eyes, eyes, eyes_

_Tell me you love me  
The moment you leave  
You're more than a shadow  
I've got to believe_

_I wish I could keep  
You all of my life  
The way that I feel  
For you inside_

_This is my moment  
This is my perfect moment with you  
This is my moment  
This is my perfect moment with you_

_With you  
With you_

-- Mary Griffin (Perfect Moment)

~~~~~

The next day, Kaoru told me what happened. She narrated her wonderful tale of passion and love with a certain fondness even if were forced to pretend that nothing had happened.

She told me she understood Kenshin.

She told me that Kenshin was still not ready and she respected that. At least, she was now sure that he loved her back.

I was so confused as to how it could be. Questions bombarded my mind. Why would Kenshin do it? Didn't he consider of Kaoru's feelings and the repercussions of their act? 

I thought what he did was so selfish and stupid.

But Kaoru knew him so much better than me.

She said, "He loves me that is why he didn't want to ruin our perfect moment. All I really needed that time was affirmation and he knew that. I wouldn't force commitment on him if he isn't ready. If pretending that nothing happened would be the most un-awkward way we can delay the "talk" then it's fine with me. We'll talk about this. But not now, at least I know that he loves me and he knows that I know it. Pretty weird and seemingly stupid but it makes sense to me." At that, she smiled.

I still could not comprehend fully what she meant by that. All I knew was they truly loved each other. I could only hope that one day, I would be able to understand that and feel that burning love on my own.

Upon seeing the confusion in my eyes, Kaoru held my hand and spoke up, "Misao, don't contemplate too much about what happened to us. One day, you'll feel what I feel now."

I smiled back.

"You see, the kiss was just an affirmation that he loved me back. That silent warmth surrounding my being just by being with him already told me that it was love, I just wasn't sure if it was just me."

I embraced Kaoru in gratitude for what she told me. Still I didn't understand but, someday, I hope to experience that with the one I love.

**Author's Notes: **

Several things inspired me when I was writing this fic. 

First, my new mantra: "Be happy for the moment, this moment is your life." I got this from a quote in the movie "Unfaithful" Yeah, yeah, I know that the context isn't really ummm… innocent but it gives a whole new meaning to the phrase Carpe Diem. When you Seize the day, it doesn't necessarily say that you should be happy and a moment is so small compared to a day but it doesn't make it any more insignificant. Oh well… Second, this song I inserted in the middle of the fic. If you read them carefully, it is so perfect for the fic. I was supposed to put lines in between to make it into a songfic but I figured that it destroyed the flow of narration so I just put it in the middle. Third, I was having great reviews in my Soujiro/Misao fic that I decided to make a character one-shot for K/K. It's been a while since I wrote a one-shot and it has been a while since I wrote a serious and contemplative fic for Kenkao. I hope you all like this fic. Actually, while I was writing this, I was planning to make it a side-story for Crimson Skies. I still plan on making this an integral part of the story but the Soujiro/Misao moments would be included in that fic since I did promise that this is a K/K fic. As to where it would be inserted, it is still a secret and I am just going to provide a link in the part where this is supposed to be inserted. ^__^ This is a sort-of a gift fic to all my reviewers and site-visitors in the RK community! Thanks everyone! You rock! 


End file.
